I Make a Mess Everyday and Why That's a Good Thing
As a human, I’m neither fastidious nor wild. I make choices that are often practical for me, and usually after thoughtful deliberation. But in the creative process I am free to do as I please. And that means I get to go off the deep end with every stroke.
I make a mess every day, and it keeps me honest.
Early stages of a painting.
This post is for everyone who thinks that making a mess is scary and bad. It might feel like you’re out of control or untethered and it triggers anxiety. You might be offended by the mess, unable to focus in the chaos, scared of losing your cool.
Afraid of ugly.
I get it. And making a mess in our everyday environment/homes/relationships is a different story. This affects others, and it is important to tread with care. Which is why messiness in art is even more important. This is why everyone should paint. Because you can make a mess and not screw up your life!
But being afraid to make a mess in art-making constricts the body and the flow of energy. We stop breathing, become rigid, even paralyzed. We are caged and it shows.
This self imprisonment reminds me of my favorite Zen parable:
Monk: “Master, what is the path to liberation?”
Master: ”Who is restraining you?”
Monk: ”No one.”
Master: ”Then why do you need to know?”
We often don’t realize that we are prisoners of our own thoughts, restrictions, beliefs. We want to be liberated but have a self imposed fear of surrender.
So then what?
Tuning into our bodies is the first step toward present awareness. Our bodies let us know what is true for us. The simplest indicator of holding back is holding our breath. I’ll sometimes walk by students in my classes, and it’s amazing how often they have stopped breathing!
With a mindfulness practice we begin to notice how it feels when we are self-restricting, and with awareness, we can start by simply breathing, dropping the shoulders and releasing tension. Then make a mark and feel the difference. Stretching our body makes space in the joints to allow FLOW. Jiggling the arms and legs loosens contracted muscles. Dropping out of our head (judgement) and into our body (heart, intuition, impulse, instinct) frees expressiveness and movement.
Most artists are intimate with mess making. The great Robert Motherwell confessed that “an Xray would reveal hidden crimes” in his paintings. Franz Kline said, “You know what creating really is? To have the capacity to be embarrassed.”
Embarrassed about ugly.
I’m so used to my messes by now that I go right into them to get it over with (although I often make messes throughout the painting). Because if I don’t allow myself to go there, I’ll miss out on the juicy stuff that lies on the other side of surrender.
It doesn’t mean it won’t be uncomfortable. Sometimes in the middle of the murk I want to jump out of my skin. In that moment I’ll do anything to avoid the discomfort - I want to eat, sleep, do laundry! But mostly, I stick with it.
And then out of the muck and mire, little shoots of life appear. The delightful surprises, the glimmers of magic. The way the paint did unexpected things I couldn’t have planned. Now we are talkin’.
From this point, we find our way through the chaos, impulses arise that bring the painting into some kind of equilibrium, harmony. But without the messy history, it wouldn’t be nearly as complex, rich, interesting.
So here are a few ways to loosen up and lean into messiness:
Firstly, ground in your body. Stand in alignment, and rotate your body back and forth as if on an axis, allowing your arms to swing naturally from side to side.
Breathe deeply. Keep coming back to the breath. You will know when you are constricted. Fold over and let your upper body hang loosely, shaking your head to loosen up the neck and shoulders.
Set up a large piece of paper or canvas that you are not invested in. Get a big brush, load up some paint, and lay down big expressive brushstrokes. No judgement, just notice.
Use your non-dominant hand and allow it to wander, following it wherever it goes.
Close your eyes and feel your way across the surface with intention and presence.
Stay curious about what is showing up, delight in all of the ways the marks are presenting themselves.
Most of all, don’t judge. Just keep looking for interesting accidents.
Enjoy the freedom of expression and see where it takes you. Watch the paint do things that you never could have planned and see how it adds more depth, energy and movement into your work.