My Own Private El Dorado - The Promised Land
El Dorado. The Golden Land. The stuff of dreams, legends. So powerful it inspired great expeditions across vast seas and brutal campaigns all over the New World. Here in Spain I’m reminded of the early explorers that were driven by this dream of the mythical Golden City (for better or worse).
“El Dorado 4” Acrylic, toner on Yupo Paper 2020 12” x 9” ©Amy Guion Clay
I believe we each have our own El Dorados. Fantasies about a person/place/thing that will somehow, suddenly, make our lives richer, greater, more fulfilling. It might be the dream of hitting the jackpot, striking the motherlode, meeting our soulmate.
One of my personal El Dorados is about wanting to know my own greatness (potential) as an artist. This may sound like a gush of ego, but it’s really about fulfilling my responsibility to my Maker, the source of life that runs through my veins and must be expressed without fear.
What I want is pure unfiltered creative expression, but I know I hold back. Even though my creative urgings are on a constant quest to source something divine, inevitably, I miss the mark. I am smaller than I know I can be. My potential is wasted. I can be lazy, distracted, even timid.
“El Dorado 1” Acrylic, toner on Yupo paper. 9” x 12” 2020 ©Amy Guion Clay
Yet, when I recognize greatness in others, it incites in me a sense of urgency - like I MUST know that in myself! Not for the razzle dazzle (fame/glory/riches), but because whatever I’ve been gifted on this earthly plane must be honored, expressed, realized.
But actually, finding El Dorado isn’t the point. It’s the seeking, the promise of our greatness that brings us to new levels. We reach higher, and somewhere in our journey we will know ourselves to be braver/greater than we realized. Somewhere along the way we will have flashes of brilliance, fleeting glorious moments of connection, sharing - pure gold.
A view of my exhibit “Seeking El Dorado” at the Castillo de Luna, and Rota, Spain. This seeming double exposure is looking through the glass of the gallery at my paintings on the wall, while simultaneously reflecting the courtyard of the ancient castle courtyard. ©Amy Guion Clay
But some will say this seeking is futile, an epic Sisyphean fail. And of course when questing becomes really about Con-quest (the obsessive need for validation, dominance, control), we have fallen for the shadow side of El Dorado. The key is to discern what is true from what are the false idols.
But I will never stop seeking to know my own potential because it is a pledge to myself. Even if it’s a golden mirage on the horizon that evaporates upon approach. It is my job to know the effulgence of truth I’ve been gifted as my birthright. I believe this is true for all of us beings on this planet.
“What we are trying to do is find a way to release the truth that lies in all of us.”
Ray Bradbury
The courtyard of the Castillo de Luna in Rota, Spain. The gallery room for my show is to the right. ©Amy Guion Clay
So what is your idea of El Dorado that makes you rise in the morning? How will you be greater in this moment, this day? What pledge do you make to yourself?
These paintings were all created at my February 2020 residency in Rota, Spain called Pinea-Linea de Costa AIR. If you want to know more about residencies, click the button below: