The Holy Longing - Becoming Home Pt. 1

The coastal path Cornwall, England. 2020 ©Amy Guion Clay

I’ve been writing this post for over a year now. And each time I attempt to write about longing, the Holy kind, I scrap my lame efforts and reach for the next easy subject.

But longing is everything. And yet it is hard to define. It is the beginning, the catalyst, of all of one’s Quests. I have lived always in a state of longing - it precedes all my adventures and creative wanderings. It’s a thirst, an itch, an impetus - and it will never leave me in peace until I have given it a voice.

I’m not referring to romantic yearnings for a lost love, or the frenzied need of an unscratched consumer or substance addiction. Because no amount of stuff (people/places/things) will fill the hole of an unfulfilled Holy Longing. The denial of the Soul’s mission will become a festering wound. We do violence to the world by not following that inner compass Home and giving it oxygen to breath.

Men-An-Toll - an ancient stone circle on the Cornish moors, with a rare holed stone. Southwest England. 2020 ©Amy Guion Clay This portal stone can be interpreted as a threshold to another realm, perhaps where one finds their true home.

I recently spent time in Cornwall and learned of the Cornish word Hireth (also Hiraeth in Welsh) that can’t easily be translated into English:

“It’s the call of our spiritual home, the link with the long forgotten past, the language of the soul, the call from the inner self. Half forgotten, fraction remembered. It speaks from the rocks, the earth, the trees and the waves. It’s always there.”
Val Bethell

We can mistake this longing for home as a literal place on the map - perhaps the motherland of our immigrant past, or a mythical promised land of our ancestors. Yet I would say that Holy Longing is far more existential. By the nature of our births (whereby we are separated from Source), we are destined to long for the reunion of our souls to the wholeness of One. It is where all longing ceases.

And if that is so, what is the point of all our wanderings?

El Dorado 1 Acrylic, toner on Yupo paper 9” x 12” ©Amy Guion Clay

I would say that the evolution of our being-ness is the point. But that too misses the mark. It’s vague and a lot of hoona-heenie.

But in our daily lives, we can simply touch moments of satisfaction through our creative practice. It is a simple path, but full of obstacles (judgement - say hello!). When we can begin to articulate the signposts and follow the clues - when we discern between the false longings for validation and the deeper yearnings for our truth, then we will have briefly arrived in the land of plenty - our own El Dorado.

Well, forgive me, dear reader, for my meanderings. It’s clear that I still have a lot to discover about Longing, and I will continue to attempt to put into words the ineffable.

How do you define your longings, what shape does it take - does it motivate or paralyze you? Share your thoughts if you can articulate them!